GOT BOTS?

Hi, Tobor Radar Robot here. Thought I’d just stop by and maybe point out a couple of things that nobody else much wants to discuss.

Been watching that Japanese Earthquake/Tsunami/Meltdown coverage on NHK.

What a bummer.

A dimension of human tragedy & suffering that boggles the mind.

My therapist, Dr. Salla, asks how can an inanimate object feel actual compassion & empathy with humans?

I sez, even a fuckin’ toaster would weep at what I’ve seen this last week or so, even the very stones would cry out in lamentation.

Very sad.

(I think Ms. Salla is troubled by my emotional inclinations, and gets kind of fidgety and starts with the “you simply MUST try this new cyber-Prozak” bit, so I probably won’t post too much on this anytime soon. Oy! Go figure…)

But you know what really sucks, is that I heard at one point they were asking for human volunteers to work in dangerously close proximity to these very hot reactors on what would appear to be a suicide mission, and I thought: “WAIT A FUCKIN’ MINUTE HERE!”

The Fukushima Fifty?

WTF??

Did I read that correctly? Really? No shit?

Haven’t these people suffered enough?

Fuck that shit!

‘Cause I don’t want to seem all rude & uppity by pointing out the obvious, but HAVE THEY EVER CONSIDERED USING ROBOTS FOR THIS SHIT?

I mean, seriously people, both the US & Japan are robot obsessed societies, both real & fictional, so WHAT’S THE GODDAMN PROBLEM HERE?

Ever seen ‘Robocon”? Or those stupid MTV robot wars? Or the DARPA ‘bot contests?

Shit, you gotcher C3PO, R2-D2, Robby the Robot from ‘Forbidden Planet’ & ‘Lost in Space’, hell, even Marvin the Paranoid Android from ‘Hitchhiker’s Giude’ would probably schlep a hose to cool down the rods and take some readings.

Sure, Marvin would bitch about it, darkly hinting that maybe the execs at TEPCO, and the officals that conspired to fake & fudge safety test results, and maybe the assholes at GE and/or Hitachi that built the thing in the first place, should be “volunteered” to soak up a few rads from the rods, but he WOULD help. If you ask him.

But it would seem that there are plenty of local ‘bots without importing Marvin and R2-D2:

–Industrial Humanoid Robots: HRP-3 PROMET Mk-II and HRP-4
–Rescue robots: T-53 Enryu
…plus social robots, androids, guard robots, rescue bots, entertainment robots, domestic robots, mobility robots, and mechanical dolls known as karakuri ningyo going back to the Edo period (1600-1800)

Robots don’t really mind radiation, rarely have collective bargaining labor disputes, and unless suffering from a Phillip K. Dickian identity crisis, are usually straightforwardly cooperative.

So, somewhere in that lot, I think you’d find a better alternative than “suicide mission” volunteers.

Just sayin’.

Tick-toc…tick-toc…tick-toc…tick-toc…

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