SOCRATES’ FEDERAL CASE

FBI: Hello? FBI, Boston Division, Northeast Jurisdiction. This is Special Agent “Zip” Connolly here, how may I help you?

SOC: Yes, I need to report a cyberstalker nutjob that’s been harassing me.

FBI: OK, if I could just get your name...

SOC: Well, my name’s Socrates...

FBI: Wait a minute! You mean Socrates the blogger?

SOC: Uh, yeah, I–

FBI: Dude! We’re your biggest fans! You’re the one that wrote that “FBI Creates Limited Hangout To Overshadow Upcoming Third Hal Turner Trial” blogpost. Dude, that was awesome! How in the world did you become such an amazing writer of such depth and complexity, with such a masterful grasp of the issues?

SOC: It’s my multiple college degrees.

FBI: Wow. It really shows! Hell, youre leftier than anybody! The last real socialist left! We totally respect that. Why, everyone else out there is a fake lefty paid disinfo focker! How may we help you Mr. Socrates?

SOC: Well, about this cyberstalker…

FBI: Ah yes, what have they done so far?

SOC: They’ve been writing unflattering things about me on their blog, I–

FBI: They WHAT!? Those sadistic fucking bastards! They’ll not get away with this! Listen, our resources are spread kinda thin at the moment–we’re right in the middle of that counterfeit ‘Schreck’ DVD copyright case–but we’re gonna reprioritize and deploy the entire Northeast jurisdiction to track these fockers down! What the hell’s going on in this country when the last real leftie in the nation is mocked and derided, and made to look like an idiot? We’re just not going to stand for it! I have a feeling that when we find these scumsuckers, that they’ll probably try to run, so they may not make it alive to the arraignment, if you know what I mean…

SOC: I’d really appreciate it…

FBI: Hell, anything for the last real socialist in the world just about.

SOC: That’s why I hang out with Patterico, I guess…

FBI: Can’t get any leftier than that! 🙂

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One Response to “SOCRATES’ FEDERAL CASE”

  1. FBI: Hell, anything for the last real socialist in the world just about. (You Forgot Vegetarian lol.)

    SOC: That’s why I hang out with Patterico, I guess…( He hangs out there because he is a closeted right winger.)

    FBI: Can’t get any leftier than that! 🙂 (No, he is so far right of left it would take a telescope to find him.)

    Poor Seth L. Allen of South Easton MA. He had so many fooled he was Jay Reynolds, and now the truth comes out and he is running scared. Begging everyone to support him, begging everyone to pay for his attorney lol, begging for money to take care of him because he made a series of posts on his blog.

    I also like how he tries to represent himself as a journalist now. And tries to stand by laws created for journalists. As if all the stalking he has been doing for so many years is part of some journalism shtick he has been doing.

    And that part about how he has several degrees. He has one degree, not several. But this goes back to his Jay Reynolds days when he was a chemical engineer and had several degrees beyond that. Now he is trying to defraud people again with he has several degrees and is a journalist and under attack by the evil left wing lol. That part is hilarious in and of itself.

    Poor Seth L. Allen.

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